I bought my wedding dress, used, from Stillwhite. Was it worth it?

When I think of weddings, the first thing I think of is the dress. I am one of those girls who grew up dreaming of getting the chance to wear a big gown. For me this is probably rooted in my lifelong love of Victorian style, voluminous gowns, and the many, many hours spent watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. But when it came time to choose my own dress, I was at a point in my life where I was buying virtually everything secondhand—most especially clothing. Buying used is so much cheaper and more sustainable because it doesn’t directly add to the slew of environmental and human rights issues associated with making most clothing.

So, as much as I wanted my Kleinfeld moment, I also knew without a doubt, I would not be buying a newly made dress (spoiler, I did almost crack).

For me, there were 3 options:

1. Rewear/remake my mom’s silk Amsale wedding dress from the 90s Thank god she didn’t have the huge puffed sleeves or the beading, but there was, unfortunately, no way of getting around the ruched dropped waist.

2. Go dress shopping at a store that exclusively has second hand dresses This quickly became an issue, because I am 6 feet tall and most people are not. So they shorten their dresses, and this usually can’t be undone.

3. Use an online second-hand wedding dress platform. Turns out, there are many, but they are not all worth recommending. I quickly found and stuck with Stillwhite. The app and website are super attractive and easy to use. Their filters are game changing, and you'll see why this was essential for me.

How I got started . . . and ended up using Stillwhite

What I wanted in a wedding dress

Although I did have a pretty clear idea of the type of dress that I wanted, and ultimately ended up wearing, I thought it’d be a good idea to try on some dresses at regular bridal boutiques before diving fully into my online shopping. Yes, it feels a bit dishonest to go into a store knowing you won’t be buying anything, but most places charge you a fee for an appointment these days, and I felt that this was a worthy investment. 

After my second bridal appointment, where I was overwhelmed by the prices and the complete lack of natural materials—everything was polyester!—I turned to Google and was thrilled to find lots of gorgeous options on Stillwhite.

Their filters are key. As I said, I am very tall, I had a specific style in mind, and I realized I didn’t want a dress with a synthetic fabric. So an online marketplace with a large and high quality selection that could easily be filtered was really important for my search. 

At some point, I decided I'd love to have color in my wedding dress. There was a custom floral bridal gown from Savin London that popped up in my Pinterest feed that I drooled over for months. But ultimately, given my steadfast goal of buying a used wedding dress, my size restrictions, and the fact that wedding dresses with color (at least in my culture) are still relatively niche, I had to compromise on the color and stick to the traditional white.

With no return option, I needed to be very sure I knew what I was getting

Would I even like what I ordered?

For me, a 3rd trip to a bridal boutique was what helped me decide. I found a dress I loved so much that I seriously almost bought it, despite its being new and made of polyester. The style was really similar to a dress I had saved on Stillwhite, and trying on something similar and loving it helped me decide.

How could I know if the dress would fit?

Finding dresses that met my criteria, and my price point, on Stillwhite was surprisingly easy, but since I wanted a ball gown made of silk, the dresses I was looking at were still not cheap. With no option for returns, I needed to be sure the dress would fit or could be altered.

All dresses posted on Stillwhite provide measurements and a couple different sizing metrics to help ensure the wedding dress will fit, but it’s shocking how much I second guessed my own measurement taking. Yes, I did sometimes pull the tape too tight to make myself match the measurements on a posting. Surprise, surprise, I don't recommend this! 

When I was seriously interested in a dress, I messaged the seller to ask all my questions about the dress. I measured myself so many times, and even did things like compare bra sizes with the seller to be more confident that the dress would fit. As a back-up, I also did research on options for altering wedding dresses that are too small. (Word to the wise: if you're Googling how to alter too-small wedding dresses, you probably know deep down that the dress you're looking at is in fact too small.)

Sadly, I had to rule out several dresses because the measurements really were just a tad too tight. In retrospect it is clearly a better choice to shop for used dresses that are a little bigger than your own measurements, not for dresses that are exactly to your measurements or, god forbid, a little smaller! While I swear I was smart enough to know this at the time, I did not listen to this inner wisdom and ended up buying a dress that I knew was possibly (lol, probably) going to be too small. Spoiler alert: it was too small 🙃. But don't worry, all was well in the end!

Yikes! I bought a wedding dress that didn't fit!

So, after much due diligence, I made the big decision and ordered my dress from its first owner. The dress came in excellent condition, with only a few minor and non-noticeable marks from the first time it was worn. The first bride even included the original garment bag and a super sweet hand written note, wishing me happy memories in the dress.

I tried it on, and it didn't fit. Not even close.

Given all my research, I knew there were ways to fix it, so I didn't panic.

I took it to a tailor, hoping the seams could be let out. Strangely, the previous alterations to the dress had cut out all excess fabric, so there was nothing to let out. Miraculously though, the tailor replaced the back panels of the bodice with exactly the same fabric (according to her, there are only so many types of white silk mikado, so she always has some in house). She had worked a tiny miracle. The dress fit, with no changes to the design, such as adding a corset, and I couldn’t tell at all where she’d replaced the fabric.

Did I save money using Stillwhite?

Yes, absolutely. But that doesn't mean the dress was cheap. When all was said and done, I spent as much or more on my wedding dress than the average bride in the northeast US.

High-quality dresses for half the price

There are a lot of modern, high end, and designer wedding dresses in excellent condition on Stillwhite. While the dresses on the site are usually around half the new-dress price, many are still not inexpensive—I'm talking several hundred to thousands of dollars. For me, this was OK, because I was sure I wanted a ball gown with real silk fabric in a modern style. If I were to buy a new dress that met this criteria, the price would have been way beyond what I was willing to pay.

Surprise costs!

Shipping

When it came time to ship the dress I ultimately bought, there were a few unexpected surprises. Firstly, if I had had the dress shipped from the U.S. to my address in Germany, where I was living at the time, there would have been several hundred dollars worth of import fees to pay. So I had it sent to my mom in Rhode Island instead.

Secondly, I extremely underestimated the cost of shipping the wedding dress, even within the States. Shipping my dress from the seller, in California, to my mom, in Rhode Island, cost $300 (!!). But this might not be the case for everyone—I bought a ball gown that was very big and heavy.

Lastly, there was an unexpected and sweet surprise! When the bride selling the dress learned my mom’s address, she asked me if I had grown up in the small Rhode Island town where my mom lives. We found out that although this bride now lives in L.A., when she was young, she lived in the same small Rhode Island town as me and we even attended the same elementary school! It was kismet.

Alterations

As I mentioned, the dress I bought needed alterations to make it fit. On top of that, I wanted to add a bustle. The first bride to own the dress didn't wear it for dancing, but I wanted to be ready to bust a move in my big, vaguely Victorian-esque skirt.

I was super lucky to find an excellent bridal tailor in the town where my dad lives in Germany. She charged 400 euros, which is a lot of money, but I think it was a fair price for her expertise, labor, and the fabric she added to my dress. I shudder to think of what the alterations would have cost in the U.S., where tailors are harder to come by and usually cost more.

The bustle accounted for part of the high cost, in my case. The skirt of my gown is big and heavy. I wanted a 5 point bustle, to keep the visual effect of having a full skirt, and this required sewing in 10 sets of ribbons on to the under and over skirts, so they could be tied up for dancing.

So, was it worth it?

💲 Overall, my dress was not a bargain. I still paid the same amount as my budget would have been for a new dress. However, with the budget I had, on Stillwhite I was able to afford a higher quality dress (i.e., silk).

🌿 The amount of emissions and pollution that a gown of this size generates when being made, must be massive, so I'm glad to have chosen second-hand and given this dress a second day to shine.

💖 My dress checked all the boxes of what was most important to me. I loved it, my husband loved it, and I hope to find a third bride who will love it as much as the first two did. 

And yes, I'll be posting it for resale on Stillwhite. 😊